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Mechanical in Nature

by Rebecca Jozwiak

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Rebecca Jozwiak's debut full-length CD, featuring moody piano and vocals.

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1.
Happiness Is 03:06
Happiness is knowing you’re there for nobody else but me. Keep that smile tucked away, my dear. I don’t want to ask again. I will be your shadow for all time, just to prove that you are mine. Don’t try leaving me I’m the only one you need.
2.
Lullaby 04:35
You’re the kind of person who never turns right on red You keep your flowers even when they’re dead And your sleeves bear the names of lovers from the past Sewn in to the last stitch of thread So close your eyes and sing me a lullaby And she’s the kind of woman to curse you from the grave Her tongue settles debts already paid But her shoes tell the story of sadness left unsold Buried in her old palisade So close your eyes and sing me a lullaby And the streets ain’t got nothing for her or for you What more can a broken man do? Your dreams are all but over Your shoulder’s worn and gray The driver led the way much too soon So close your eyes Don’t act surprised Just tell me lies And sing me a lullaby
3.
You ask for the truth but you never believe it Always something going wrong And I cannot conceive how your convictions are so strong Why you do perceive what isn’t there? Well, forgive my empathy I know that it grieves you when I try to get along You’d rather be mistreated than admit that you belong to a line of repeatable affairs Oh, let’s pretend we’re less mechanical. X2 Well I’m not so insecure to tolerate this madness or condone your behavior It’s taken lots of practice to decide what to ignore and may I suggest you do the same? Because we’re all imperfect beings and that, my dear, includes you You’d do better to forget how much you’ve been secluded and get over your regrets and every pursuit you had to trade. Oh, let’s pretend we’re less mechanical. X2 You ask for the truth but you never believe it My assurances are sound Am I really naive to think that in you I have found a willing and semi-conscious soul? So I’ll take you by the hand and lead you inside There’s one last favor that I ask You must not be guided by the familial angst that drives all the injury you hold Oh, let’s pretend we’re less mechanical. X2
4.
I’m through fighting your kindness I do act terribly mindless and you put me in my place I’m suddenly spineless Your face, all happy and crimeless The space between us is gone Here come the sweet expectations The sum of weak dedications becomes more than it should be I’m faking this smile I’ll meet you there in a while For me this is close to gone Why did you say it? And play it and play that song over and over and over and over again? Why did I let you talk me into this? I’ll stop, just say when. I’m through with your kindness And then, let’s cure your sick blindness I’ll lend you tears from a jar I bid you farewell and so far, there’s nothing to tell this apart from what’s already gone
5.
This is what it feels like when your lover keeps you down. This is what it sounds like when pieces hit the ground. This is what it tastes like, choking on your dreams. This is what it looks like when nothing’s what it seems. And all this wasted time, spent dying to sleep, only to find it was never yours to keep. This is what it feels like in the absence of space. This is what it sounds like in your empty embrace. This is what it tastes like, when I swallow your blades. This is what it looks like when tenderness fades. And all the world closes her eyes to the mirror, and every day the consequence draws a little nearer. This is what it feels like when your lover lets you down. This is what it sounds like when love hits the ground. This is what it tastes like, choking on bitter wrongs. This is what it looks like when you find out just where your heart belongs.
6.
The old man in line stepped off to the curb to ask for an autograph from a former divine purveyor of truth They’ve got the same reasons for falling behind and losing their nerve They’ll take the well-travelled path home. The lovers decide to anchor the moon and drift toward the open stars and the paper divide that settles the sky They’ve got the same reasons for needing to find some happiness soon. They’ll take the well-travelled path home. And what’s ever in it for you? You and your arbitrary sovereign dominion. What’s in it for you? She cuts off the light and walks to her room Turns on the old phonograph and breathes out a sigh, and stares at the wall She writes down her reasons then hangs them to dry on her mother’s loom. She’ll take the well-travelled path home. And what’s ever in it for you? You and your arbitrary desperate opinion. What’s in it for you? And what’s ever in it for you? You and your solitary sovereign dominion. What’s in it for you?
7.
Oh, how I could stroll down the corridors of your mind. What beautiful pictures, and I know I’d find the answers to questions I had left behind for you to uncover, my most precious lover. And oh, if I could pull back the valances of that shrine. What strange mechanisms, and I know you’re blind to the answers to questions I had left behind for you to deliver, my pretentious giver. Would you invite me back? Would you invite me back in to the haze, and the craze, and the sad, lonely place where you live? And oh, if I could tear down the cinder blocks one more time; see through the insanity of your mind. Imagine the vanity left behind for you to discover, my most precious lover. Would you invite me back? Would you invite me back in to the haze, and the craze, and the maze and the sad, lonely place where you live?
8.
I spent a long time waiting for that apology, But the truth is, I doubt your sincerity. And after tonight, when I saw everything with clarity, I could take a step back. I spent seven years blaming my uncertainty for the fallout, and the whole goddamn calamity. But after tonight, when you said every day was misery, I could take a step back. So it should come as no surprise that I can tell your truth from lies. But in the morning I’ll still have the sunrise, the sunrise blues. You gave seventeen reasons for disbelieving me when I called out your lack of credibility. Don’t forget that night when you promised me love and stability, then you had to take a step back. Now you’re telling me stories of your fidelity. You realize you just weren’t quite ready. But after tonight, when I saw everything with clarity, well go ahead, and take a step back. So it should come as no surprise that I can tell your truth from lies. So in the morning you’ll still have the sunrise, the sunrise blues.
9.
Well I wanna start wearing a dead man’s hat, but they don’t come easy and they lie kinda flat on a head like mine. That’s fine. And I wanna start wearing a dead man’s jacket ‘cuz I’m running out of reasons and I think I’ll need the practice for the funeral rhyme. That’s fine. You can surely try to get me a dead man’s heart, but they don’t come cheap and it ain’t too smart to spend a dime. And I know it makes you mad when I talk about dying but you’re wasting your breath, man, there’s no use trying to buy me time. And I’m fine with that. ‘Cause when it’s time to get going all you gotta say is knowing me was fun. And that’s it. Just make sure that I’m leaving with my dead man’s heart, that I’m wearing my dead man’s hat, and my dead man’s jacket. Well I wanna start wearing a dead man’s sweater, you know, the kind that’s got a pocket, you can probably hold a letter inside. That’d be fine. And I wanna start wearing some dead man’s boots, ‘Cause the shoes I always wear will prob’ly come loose over time. And that’s not fine. You can surely try to get me a dead man’s watch, but like everything a dead man owns, it’s already stopped. And I know it makes you mad when I talk about dying but you’re wasting your breath, man, there’s no use trying to buy me time. And I’m fine with that. ‘Cause when it’s time to get going all you gotta say is knowing me was fun. And that’s it. Just make sure that I’m leaving with my dead man’s heart, that I’m wearing my dead man’s hat, and my dead man’s jacket. Well I wanna start wearing a dead man’s hat, ‘Cause the hipsters haven’t picked it as their latest fad, how kind. Yeah, that’s fine. And I wanna start wearing a dead man’s jacket, ‘Cause it comes in mostly black so it’ll match the casket sign. Yeah, that’s fine. And if you really get me a dead man’s heart, hope you get a good deal on the part. Don’t waste a dime. And I know it makes you mad when I talk about dying but you’re wasting your breath, man, there’s no use trying to buy me time. But I’m fine with that. ‘Cause when it’s time to get going all you gotta say is knowing me was fun. And that’s it. Just make sure that I’m leaving with my dead man’s heart, that I’m wearing my dead man’s hat, and my dead man’s jacket.
10.
The night’s descending Your happy ending The pressure’s off, just like you wanted How beautiful, your days unfolded And I catch your breath in these tired hands I said I would You said I could I said I would So we say goodbye through the camera lens It should be good You said it would It should be good How beautiful Your happy ending
11.
Listen up, if you think we’re good enough, then let’s raise our glasses. The ticket stubs that prove we are still in love, they’re framed in the hallway. I count the small ways we came around. Your patience, dear, it trumps the dark atmosphere I swear I was born in. That you hear my slurred and drunken fears, it speaks precious volumes. Cast away costumes onto the ground. The Sunday nights, next to your quiet side, I’m wrapped in the moment. It’s only right to say how I need this time to rest on your shoulder. I could grow older with you around. I never wanted to be as safe as you make me feel. Like I’m free to fall, and you’ll be there to stop it all from going wrong. And so this song I give to you.

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released September 25, 2015

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Rebecca Jozwiak Fort Worth, Texas

These are the solo efforts that don't quite fit into the band-mosphere.

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